Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
