that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
