I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
