i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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