The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Randomize
