there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
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I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
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Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize