mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
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