I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
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