Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
false alarm, still single
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