dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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