I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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