Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
