You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
