I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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