Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
