Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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