when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize
