I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
