You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
