By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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