just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Help. Why am I so naked?
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