I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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