I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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