I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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