You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
It's like God shit irony all over that family
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
