My nipple is on Facebook.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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