The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize