I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
