no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
