so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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