Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I cockslap morals
Do vagina's smell?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
