dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
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