Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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