somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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