Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
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