I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
