I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
