Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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