My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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