So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
