im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
