Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
