There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
