I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
