People in love make me want to vomit
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
