its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
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