I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
