i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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