I'm really into asian looking animals
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
What a dumb baby whore.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
The power of my boobs compel you
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
