We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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