Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
