I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
