yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
