She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
