i wish there were pregnant emoticons
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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