Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
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