I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I have tasted many bathrooms
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
