Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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