Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
