none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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