whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
