I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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