I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Randomize
