I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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