The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
