So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money