How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
