Texts From Last Night

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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list

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  (502): i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list http://tfl.nu/o9vo
  Replies (6) Good night (858) Bad night (2536)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?

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  (313): Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board? http://tfl.nu/cf1u
  Replies (19) Good night (953) Bad night (6013)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth

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  (847): Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth http://tfl.nu/6ed0
  Replies (29) Good night (4539) Bad night (915)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor

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  (937): she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor http://tfl.nu/fo1n
  Replies (51) Good night (661) Bad night (7500)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  clearly you have your priorities straight

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  (612): just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON (651): clearly you have your priorities straight http://tfl.nu/87z9
  Replies (68) Good night (4667) Bad night (1347)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'

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  (314): Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?' http://tfl.nu/xaro
  Replies (17) Good night (1208) Bad night (6476)
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  (478): View more from Georgia

  We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.

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  (478): We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out. http://tfl.nu/tea7
  Replies (14) Good night (8102) Bad night (1763)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.

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  (508): There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day. http://tfl.nu/fth0
  Replies (12) Good night (3355) Bad night (1111)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Someone shattered a urinal.

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  (678): Someone shattered a urinal. http://tfl.nu/a493
  Replies (8) Good night (1795) Bad night (967)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?

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  (312): I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp? http://tfl.nu/sqhc
  Replies (20) Good night (3596) Bad night (814)
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  (559): View more from California

  I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.

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  (559): I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface. http://tfl.nu/l63d
  Replies (6) Good night (1397) Bad night (798)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!

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  (907): I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?! http://tfl.nu/q90z
  Replies (6) Good night (550) Bad night (729)
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  (716): View more from New York

  After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"

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  (716): After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous" http://tfl.nu/zxh1
  Replies (7) Good night (682) Bad night (439)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.

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  (847): Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag. http://tfl.nu/69qo
  Replies (0) Good night (778) Bad night (351)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records

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  (703): Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records http://tfl.nu/vyxa
  Replies (3) Good night (375) Bad night (157)

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