how can u be prego again
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Everyone says I win the strip club
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.