The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important