oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
