Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
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he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
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Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?