Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(406): View more from Montana

i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.

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(714): View more from California

I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going

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(417): View more from Missouri

Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.

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The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Read it at the TFLN blog
(204): View more from Manitoba

You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.

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(856): View more from New Jersey

I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.

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(586): View more from Michigan

he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him

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