Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(508): View more from Massachusetts

i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook

Fav 36 10672 1222
share tweet
(248): View more from Michigan

she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.

Fav 26 14180 1592
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(917): View more from New York City

Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.

(347): View more from New York

I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.

Fav 14 1548 5252
share tweet
(815): View more from Illinois

u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club

Fav 12 2853 1361
share tweet
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.

Fav 1 1056 2063
share tweet
(609): View more from New Jersey

why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?

Fav 19 776 2010
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(519): View more from Ontario

Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.

Fav 5 1477 1134
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(707): View more from California

Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.

Fav 2 680 468
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(281): View more from Texas

...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.

Fav 0 371 160
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT