i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him