why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Operation Purity has been aborted
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Randomize
