Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville. http://tfl.nu/rzyg
  Replies (46) Good night (1280) Bad night (4070)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons http://tfl.nu/lk3m
  Replies (37) Good night (787) Bad night (4854)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (856): she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done http://tfl.nu/rbbz
  Replies (23) Good night (5763) Bad night (1170)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle. http://tfl.nu/hct4
  Replies (33) Good night (6549) Bad night (1372)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off. http://tfl.nu/09ia
  Replies (11) Good night (2853) Bad night (1108)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that. http://tfl.nu/1tq2
  Replies (39) Good night (3510) Bad night (5583)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team http://tfl.nu/fnfy
  Replies (24) Good night (1287) Bad night (4869)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing. http://tfl.nu/i0xb
  Replies (5) Good night (3027) Bad night (860)
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (909): I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment. http://tfl.nu/mic1
  Replies (1) Good night (1137) Bad night (2023)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today. (603): Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me. http://tfl.nu/6wu2
  Replies (3) Good night (2808) Bad night (675)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (317): Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing. http://tfl.nu/j9h2
  Replies (16) Good night (1828) Bad night (646)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it http://tfl.nu/r81k
  Replies (14) Good night (3366) Bad night (626)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday http://tfl.nu/9goc
  Replies (5) Good night (1235) Bad night (622)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (408): Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware. http://tfl.nu/gy46
  Replies (1) Good night (577) Bad night (884)
• Favorite

  (705): View more from Ontario

  I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (705): I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep. http://tfl.nu/bmha
  Replies (3) Good night (649) Bad night (1077)

Randomize