she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win